J.B.'s Story

J.B.was considered a “high risk” youth. He lived in East Oakland and in the fall of 1989 the house where J.B. and his mother were staying was raided as a crack house. Mom went to jail and J.B. would spend one night at his coach's house, another night with a friend or at “Nanny's.” Some nights J.B. would tie knots in his new sneakers and wear them to bed so no one could steal them.

When J.B. became involved with Olympian Thinking™, he learned that all successful people have three things in common:

• They have something that really matters to them; something they really want to do or be. We call it Passion.
• They can see the goal really clearly and the "how to" images begin to appear like magic. While the goal may seem farfetched, they can imagine doing all these little steps on the road to that goal. We call it Vision.
• Finally, they are willing to do something each day, according to a plan, that will bring them one step closer to their dream. We call it Action.

Passion + Vision + Action is our equation for success.

J. B. said he already knew he wanted to be an NFL football player. We celebrated that he already had one of the three elements common to all high achievers: passion - something he would love to do or be. When you have something that really matters to you, you have more energy and you become a very creative problem solver. Next he needed to see his goal very clearly so the “how to” images would ap­pear. We took him through two exercises. The first one is called the Ideal Image™.

He needed to know very precisely all the skills, traits and characteristics of a superstar football player. We assisted him with a drawing of a football player in the middle of a piece of paper, mind mapping the traits on lines radiating like spokes of a wheel from his central image. Reading it back, once completed, he could readily see that this was a complete picture of a superstar.

It became clear that because J. B. wanted to be a star in the NFL, he needed to have these same traits. So next we asked him to rate himself on a scale of 1‑10 on each of these traits. (10 means very good, 4‑5 average and 1‑3 need some attention.) While all these traits are important, J.B. was asked to select and circle the ones he felt were most important.

He noticed that his “bad attitude” (get­ting into fights) was his biggest drawback. We also recognized all the strengths (8‑10) as reasons he was already good at football - things he could rely on in a pinch. Those rated 1‑3 were discussed as important for him to work on if he wants to be an NFL player. We use all this information on the second exercise: “Success Map™.’’

SUCCESS MAP

J. B. began his Success Map™ by placing himself at one end of the road with his name and the date, and placing an image of his goal at the finish line.

Next, from his Ideal Image™, he filled in some of the key traits he will acquire/have as a superstar football player. He was sure to include some current strengths and some he hoped to acquire.

Working backwards from the goal, he answered the question. “Where do they recruit NFL players from?” He knew immediately that they recruit from colleges and he drew in a college on his road map.

“How does one get into college?” we asked. His responses included good grades in high school and junior college, and getting a scholarship. We had him include these in the appropriate places on his road.

It became clear that making a plan requires some real knowledge and expertise. We asked him to fill in someone he could go to who has been there or who knows more than he does.

All successful people have at least one person who believes in them, someone to cheer their victories and be with them when they stumble or feel discouraged. J.B. included “cheerleaders” on his map.

No one’s road to success is unobstructed; everyone encounters hurdles and roadblocks. In the middle of this road he wrote the biggest obstacle or fears he faced. “What are three things you can do to ensure that these obstacles will not stop you from reaching your goal? Include three insurance policies for each obstacle.” On the lines provided he wrote in the three “insurance policies.”

When reaching for success, we always find we are in need of more time, money equipment, expertise, etc. J.B. used these boxes to identify what things he needed to help him on his way.

Awards are ways to measure our progress. J.B. identified a high school diploma and scholarship as his measuring sticks. It is always easier to work hard if there is someone beside you who is also reach-in for success. We asked J.B. to identify someone he would like to be his training partner.

Having identified the need for physical skills, better grades and money, we asked, “What are some of the next steps you could take in the next few weeks?” This completed our Vision component.

ACTION STEPS

After completing the map, we asked J.B. to look at his Ideal Image™ and his Success Map™ and to choose one thing that he needed to work on. He said his coaches told him he had a bad attitude. He was getting into fights two to three times a day-in the school yard, in the halls, on the way to and from school. He recognized that even if he had a “10” on everything else, no NFL team would want someone who was always fighting.

Our action step was to have him make a six-week contract about a next step on his road. While other students chose interviewing experts or reading books, J.B. said he was going to “not fight” for six weeks.

All of my efforts to persuade him to choose some smaller first step were futile. Given his daily life, his history and the taunts of other children, I was convinced he would fail. Plus, I knew to envision “not fighting” was a poor strategy, but he was gone. Tiring of my exercises, he wanted to play.

When J.B. came back to our next weekly meeting, he had not had a fight. We celebrated and held our breath. Two weeks and no fight. Three weeks, four, five, six weeks without a fight. In accordance with his contract he brought a note from his teacher attesting to his accomplishment.

When we celebrated and questioned how he had been able to pull off such a difficult task, his answers were crisp and clear. “I want to be an NFL football player and no one will want me if I fight all the time.”

When asked about the schoolyard, he said he always fights with the same kid, Tony. So when the recess bell rang he asked Tony if he wanted to play football with him. When someone taunts him or hits him in the hallway, he imagined turning around with the NFL team hat on and that he is a role model coming back to school.

J.B. had defied the odds. If he could do this under these conditions, what would happen if we produced materials incorporating state-of-the-art teaching technologies and we put them in the hands of good teachers? That is our intention. Now, as part of our Success Map™, we have students write an affirmation. It is to make firm in their mind a picture of who they want to be.

This is how it works:

• Complete your map by going back to your Ideal Image™ and choose one trait you would really like to improve.
• Write an “I wish” statement about it, for example, “I wish I were a good listener.”
• Now, change it to “I want to be...” (“I want to be a good listener”).
• Now, change it to “I will be… (“I will be a good listener”).
• Now, make a true affirmation, which is a statement you will grow into. Begin your statement with “I am...” (“I am a good listener”).
• Write your statement on your Success Map™ and take your statement and look in the mirror while you repeat it ten times each morning and ten times each evening for ten days.

While the exercise is simple and requires very little time, it is very powerful. Ask your training partner to check with you each day to ensure that you have done it. At the end of ten days, I assure you that, like J.B., you will have made a big step on your road to success.

We knew theoretically we could help kids discover what they really wanted to be, make accessible the necessary thinking skills, and support them in an action plan. The kids went on to complete many individual contracts and then proceeded to set a “team goal” of going to Disneyland if they completed a ten-week public speaking course, which they did.

J.B. went on to play football and graduate from San Diego State. The director of the Neighborhood Center where we met said that no one from this rough area had ever made it through the 10th grade so we celebrate the success of J.B. and others who have gone on to create successful lives.

There is a way in which Olympian Thinking is not “new.” We have all experienced this process when we “set our minds” to something that mattered to us. We aligned Passion, Vision and Action. While good teachers have always intuitively taught this way, this technology is one way we can more consciously do it and teach it by design.

Copyright © 2006 Marilyn King All rights reserved.

About Marilyn King

Marilyn King is a two-time Olympian (Munich, 1972 & Montreal, 1976) in the grueling five event Pentathlon. Her 20-year athletic career includes five national titles and a World Record. She has been featured in numerous articles and books, including DreamMakers by Michele Hunt and Spirit of Champions by Lyle Nelson and Thorn Bacon. Marilyn King has appeared on the “NewsHour with Jim Lehrer.”

Through keynotes, training, and consulting, Marilyn King provides business leaders and educators with mental tools that will serve them for a lifetime.

In 1979, an automobile accident rendered her unable to train physically for her third Olympic team. Using only mental training techniques, she placed second at the Olympic trials for the 1980 Moscow Games. This extraordinary experience and her research into cognitive training led to a 17-year career as an expert in the field of exceptional human performance. Marilyn King’s discovery of three elements that are always present when ordinary people do extraordinary things resulted in her developing Olympian Technology, which is the focus of her programs.